You: What is your older sister's favorite Monopoly game piece?
Stranger: ive never played monopoly with my older sister. But it would probably be the dildo
Stranger: er i mean, the thimble
You: Why did you choose a liberal-arts degree when your entire family urged you to go into finance?
Stranger: because i wanted to be able to express my latent desires through my art rather than becoming a numbers slave
You: In what year did you begin working on your novel?
Stranger: about 3 years ago, I've been meaning to finish it, but I've been so busy with my professional badmitton career
You: How many weeks away was graduation when you dropped out of college?
Stranger: 6, I just couldn't take it anymore
You: What was your score on the civil-service employment exam?
Stranger: 2, they told me it was abotu average for my age range
You: Where were you sitting when your girlfriend told you she was pregnant?
Stranger: in my comfy chair
You: Where did you never end up going for your honeymoon?
Stranger: Paris, we ate lots of cheese
You: In what year did you begin working for the post office?
Stranger: 1867, we used ponies back then
You: What is the name of the hedge-fund manager your ex-wife married?
Stranger: Dong Wang
You: How many hours did it take you to drink that bottle of Jack Daniel's yesterday?
Stranger: about 7, afterwards I promptly had a conversation on msn with my ex girlfriend, which I didn't remember at all the next day, except that I prly sounded like a total fucktard
You: What time was it when, in a drunken rage, you threw your novel into the fire?
Stranger: about 6 am
You: If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Jamie Martin currently lives in Phoenix working as a designer. You can find him as livejamie elsewhere on the internets. He enjoys pugs, lemonade and talking about himself in the third person.
